Sometimes I wonder why this happens.
You know, love.
It seems pointless yet so necessary at the same time. I can't seem to help it. But you know, I don't really believe it's love. I think love is when you'd die for someone. That's why I just don't get why people are always like, "I Love Him!" when really it's just sexual attraction. It's nowhere close to love.
So you'll just have to believe me when I say, "I don't love you." because, well really I don't. That doesn't stop me from staring at you when you dance, or noticing what you're wearing every day. Actually it's kind of pathetic, but you know, I can't stop. I just can't stop.
But I guess I kind of have to. I mean, you're not really available. And if I'm anything, I'm not a boyfriend stealer.
But is it wrong to just imagine? I mean, that can't hurt anyone, right? You'll never find out, or you already know I have an attraction to you. Actually I think you do know, but I don't think you realize how much you intrigue me. I don't think I've ever met someone like you. Sure I've met some pretty interesting people, but none that does this to my head. Like Andrew, he was an ass, I only liked him cause I was deprived. But you know what? There's so many really good looking boys but I don't know...you, you're different I guess.
But...I don't know, sometimes you feel fake. Like when you act, or put on that egotistic front. (I'm sorry, you're only a mediocre actor.) But I know that sometimes you hate yourself, but I think everyone does sometimes. I want to ask you so many questions, it just seems like, you're battling something, or were battling something. And I wonder, are you really happy? Or are you going through something like what I'm going through? Like it's just a roller coaster. Like one day you're just the greatest but the next you're just nobody. I mean like, lower than nobody, so much that you wish you could just do something to make yourself proud. So you find something to let it all out creatively, and it works, at least, every time you achieve something, but in between you're dead again. So you put your soul into it but, it just seems like no one really knows how much it means to you. They say it's great, oh they love it, but, it just seems like they're only seeing the surface.
I don't know about you, or if this even applies to you, but I'm always just trying to show them. To get them to just SEE it. I don't know if I ever will though...
Hahaha here I am, pouring out my heart to you and you'll never read this...or really care.
But...god I love you.
You know, love.
It seems pointless yet so necessary at the same time. I can't seem to help it. But you know, I don't really believe it's love. I think love is when you'd die for someone. That's why I just don't get why people are always like, "I Love Him!" when really it's just sexual attraction. It's nowhere close to love.
So you'll just have to believe me when I say, "I don't love you." because, well really I don't. That doesn't stop me from staring at you when you dance, or noticing what you're wearing every day. Actually it's kind of pathetic, but you know, I can't stop. I just can't stop.
But I guess I kind of have to. I mean, you're not really available. And if I'm anything, I'm not a boyfriend stealer.
But is it wrong to just imagine? I mean, that can't hurt anyone, right? You'll never find out, or you already know I have an attraction to you. Actually I think you do know, but I don't think you realize how much you intrigue me. I don't think I've ever met someone like you. Sure I've met some pretty interesting people, but none that does this to my head. Like Andrew, he was an ass, I only liked him cause I was deprived. But you know what? There's so many really good looking boys but I don't know...you, you're different I guess.
But...I don't know, sometimes you feel fake. Like when you act, or put on that egotistic front. (I'm sorry, you're only a mediocre actor.) But I know that sometimes you hate yourself, but I think everyone does sometimes. I want to ask you so many questions, it just seems like, you're battling something, or were battling something. And I wonder, are you really happy? Or are you going through something like what I'm going through? Like it's just a roller coaster. Like one day you're just the greatest but the next you're just nobody. I mean like, lower than nobody, so much that you wish you could just do something to make yourself proud. So you find something to let it all out creatively, and it works, at least, every time you achieve something, but in between you're dead again. So you put your soul into it but, it just seems like no one really knows how much it means to you. They say it's great, oh they love it, but, it just seems like they're only seeing the surface.
I don't know about you, or if this even applies to you, but I'm always just trying to show them. To get them to just SEE it. I don't know if I ever will though...
Hahaha here I am, pouring out my heart to you and you'll never read this...or really care.
But...god I love you.
